MySQL and InnoDB Performance for the Rest of Us

I know you.

You lose sleep wondering what your SQL is actually doing as you lay in bed at night. You quickly leave the room after saying "storage engine" lest someone asks you to explain what one actually is. You plead with your queries to use your indexes or whisper secret oaths to deities so they may grant you the clarity to understand the results of your EXPLAINs. When asked where your data is stored on disk, your answer is most likely going to be the name of a city.

I know you because I once was you. But then I read the docs. And I'm here to share what I learned.