/dev/random: Ransomwar

There is a blight sweeping the digital landscape, a pestilence of downright icky proportions. The media have labeled it "ransomware," although I personally call it “data extortion.” It takes a special kind of douchebag to hold someone's cat photos and pr0n collection hostage for money. I live in Texas, where if we're not dodging deluded maniacs with assault rifles and an inflated sense of grudge, we're using taxpayer funds and proceeds from the volunteer fire department water carnival (just two guys with super soakers this year, due to drought) to pull our local government's files out of hock. I have no easy solution for the grudgy maniacs, but I think I can offer some balm for the file douchery.