Respect

by Rob Kolstad
Dr. Rob Kolstad works as program manager organizing computer security conferences. Longtime editor of ;login:, he is also head coach of the USENIX-sponsored USA Computing Olympiad.

You can well imagine that the tragedy in Littleton is big news in my Colorado neighborhood; it seems that everyone is trying to figure out how and why it happened. I fear that too often this is so that they can point a finger of blame and somehow reach a sort of personal "resolution" of the issue.

The local media are full of articles sharing "background information," "new facts," reports of psychologists, and a host of other random data that people might use to try to find a way to come to grips with the horrifying reality of over a dozen dead. The bizarre synchronicity of the event and debate over gun control in our state government compounds the tongue-wagging. People actually say things like, "If only teachers carried their own handguns . . . ."

In their search for blame, others look to the parents. "How could they not have noticed the bomb-making and sawed-off shotgun barrels?" Indeed. Yesterday's rumor (surely to be resolved by the time this reaches print) suggested criminal charges were in order for the parents, the parents of perpetrators of ages 17 and 18. Even the law recognizes 18-year-olds as fully responsible for their actions.

My dental hygienist seemed to have a rational and prescriptive viewpoint. She suggested that the real problem is a lack of a certain kind of respect on the part of everyone. Obviously, the Littleton shooters did not respect their victims. The murderers would have us believe they were treated poorly by other groups of people at their school. While potentially a real problem, of course, this would never justify murder.

I visited Jet Propulsion Laboratories a week ago for a weekend high school competition revolving around designs of space settlements. One 16-year-old male contestant wore a rock group T-shirt whose four-inch-high words included the 12-letter obscenity that some believe is the most powerful of button-pushers. Four-inch-high red letters. Right there in front of God and everyone.

I asked one of the organizers if anyone was going to do anything. They suggested that he had already achieved his intended goal just by motivating me to ask the question. Furthermore, I was slightly castigated for suggesting that maybe his freedom of expression might offend some number of our gender-balanced group. I have not discussed the issue with him since the Littleton catastrophe.

But the juxtaposition of these two events has driven home the notion of "respect." The USENIX community is one of the most tolerant groups with which I have had the privilege of associating. Just check out the "colored dots" on the nametags of conference attendees to see what I mean. Every possible interest, lifestyle, fashion statement, and attitude can be found. The community seems to judge people far more on their technical achievements, diction, and attitude than those other things. The tolerance can even be thought of as respect in a certain technical context.

Maybe we need to share this attitude of respect with our friends, neighbors, and associates. I'm afraid I honestly don't know how to do it without being somewhat of a jerk: "Hey dude, your shirt is disrepectful of mothers, women in general, and males. Please remove it if you wish to stay at our contest." He probably wouldn't think better of me, adults, authority, or anything else. But I'm going to try. I hope you will, too.